Adventures of the So Happy It's Thursday Club
by starofoberon
Summary: A little Thursday afternoon stress relief at the BAU.


Usual disclaimers, not mine, yada yada, all power to CBS and the production staff of _Criminal Minds_. Ed Bernaro, you rule!

Written in response to October 2010 "Candyland" Challenge

Assignment: JJ/Reid, Unicorn Pops

**Adventures of the So Happy It's Thursday Club**

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Spencer Reid approaching her office. She quickly texted "We're on" to Derek Morgan, then turned her attention to the array of file folders on her desk.

The gangly multi-PhD strolled in, hands in the pockets of his cardigan, trying to look casual. If he had only whistled tunelessly, he would have been the absolute picture of cliché trying-not-to-be-noticed.

Like he didn't cruise her office for candy at least twice a week.

"So how are you this afternoon?" he asked. He always made some vague stab at conversation before he got to the meat of the matter.

"Fine," she sighed. "Lots to finish before Friday. And you?"

"Pretty good," he said. Then, way too casual, he continued, "Oh, candy. May I–"

Which was her cue to shrug and say _Sure, help yourself_. Instead, she knit her brows. "Candy?"

He indicated the cut glass jar on the outside left of her desk. "Candy," he said. "Or is it a decoration?"

Her frown deepened. "Is _what_ a decoration?"

"This."

She stared blankly where he pointed. "That jar? It's been there for years, Spence."

"I'm referring to the contents," Reid said, just a hint of frustration creeping into his voice. "The candy. Is it real, or is it a decoration?"

She looked at the jar again. Looked at Reid. Looked back at the jar. "OK, this must be one of those obscure philosophical jokes you're so famous for. I'm sorry, but I just don't get it, Spence."

"The candy." He rattled the jar vigorously.

"Yes," she said, as patiently as she could, "sometimes I put candy in there. You should know. You've certainly had your share."

He breathed a sigh of relief as if to say, _finally, we're on the same page_. "And may I have some of this?"

Her frown returned. "Some of what?"

"Some of the candy."

"Some of which candy?"

"OK, let's back up a little, JJ. Do you see the jar?"

"Of course I do."

"And the candy?"

"What candy?" she replied, slowly and carefully. "Why do I feel like we're doing 'Who's On First'?"

Reid moved back into the doorway. "Morgan," he called. "Can you come and take a look at this for me?"

"At what?"

"Just – just come look at this."

"Sure thing, kid," Morgan said, rising to his feet. "Prentiss, you want to contribute your eyes to this?"

"Why should I?" Emily asked.

"In case it's some fashion thing or chick thing. I mean, why else would Reid need another set of eyes?"

"Good call," Prentiss said, and got up. Together they joined Reid at JJ's door. "What's up, Reid?" Emily asked.

"Do you see the candy?" Reid asked.

Both profilers' eyes swept the room.

"Is this a game?" Morgan asked. "Like, find the candy?"

"Will you give us hints about whether we're hot or cold?" Emily added.

"You're all in this together," Reid growled. He stomped out of the room and climbed the short set of steps toward Hotchner's office. As he did so, he saw Hotch and Garcia both in Rossi's office, engaged in serious conversation.

He tapped hesitantly, apologetically, on Rossi's door. "When you all have a minute," he said, "no rush, but I could use some advice and support."

Rossi looked at his two visitors. "Good break point to run to Reid's rescue?"

Garcia said "sure," and Hotch shrugged.

The three of them trailed Reid back to JJ's office, where Morgan and Prentiss continued to move slowly around the room, peering behind books and tchotchkes and photos of Henry and Will.

"There," Reid said, his voice tense. "Tell me that you see the candy."

"Which candy?" Rossi asked. "Garcia, you see anything?"

"I see JJ's candy jar," she replied instantly. "Oh, is that it, honey? Did someone take the last of the candy? We can probably get some more from Human Resources. They have an awesome break room."

Reid appealed to the final arbiter of all things serious and rational. "Hotch, sir," he said, his voice sliding up a major third in desperation, "I don't know what these guys are up to. All I wanted was to get some candy from JJ."

"That sounds reasonable," Hotch rumbled.

"There you go!" Reid exploded. "He sees them."

The space of one heartbeat, then: "Sees what?"

Reid glared at the unit chief. "Don't tell me you're in on this too, sir. Tell me you see the goddamn candy."

Hotchner took a deep breath. Exchanged glances with Rossi and Garcia. Finally said, "What goddamn candy am I supposed to be looking at?"

"Come on," Reid all but howled. "The goddamn Unicorn Pops!"

And everyone else in the room breathed an audible sigh of relief.

"Oh," Rossi said. "Listen, kid, after three marriages, I certainly don't qualify to see anything related to a unicorn."

"True," said Prentiss. "You may well be the only virgin in the room."

Reid flushed deeply. "I am not a virgin."

Hotchner looked at Reid, looked at the desk, looked back at Reid. "The Unicorn Pops say otherwise."

Everyone other than Reid and JJ filed out of the office. Morgan punched his arm companionably as he passed. "If you need help in getting set up with someone–" he offered.

"Man, I cannot wait until Friday," Reid roared. "You've turned into the biggest bunch of freaks–"

"Aw, sweetheart," JJ said soothingly. "Relax. And if you see any candy in that jar, well, you just help yourself. It's not like it's going to be visible to anyone else here."

"That's all I asked for," Reid sighed. "Just a piece of candy."

JJ mumbled something.

"What did you just say?"

She looked up, her huge blue eyes all innocence. "I just said you might be better off just getting a piece, period."

"This could work to my advantage," Spencer Reid said, emptying the jar and filling his pockets with the colorful confections. "If you can't see them, then it doesn't matter how many I take."

"You have a point," she said serenely, and turned back to her paperwork. "Enjoy them while you still can see them."

"I am not a virgin," he hissed.

She gifted him with one of her sweetest, most motherly smiles. "Of course not, dear."

Reid turned and almost ran smack into Bureau Chief Erin Strauss.

"Chief Strauss," he stammered, "I know that this sounds strange, but–" He extended his hand with two Unicorn Pops in it. "Do you see these?"

Strauss frowned and glanced past him.

Holding her breath – this was just too perfect – JJ shook her head and grinned.

Strauss looked at his hand, looked at his face, then back at his hand.

"See what?"

With an inarticulate cry, Reid fled for the elevator.

Strauss looked at JJ. "Agent Jareau, I'm sure there was a reason for that?"

"Yes, ma'am," JJ replied. "Just a little Thursday afternoon stress relief."

Strauss's gaze followed Reid's escape. "He certainly does seem stressed."

"Yes, ma'am."


End file.
